Chi sono io?
by booknerd3000
Summary: Set right after Edward leaves. This is Isabella's story as she attempts to find herself. Title translates from Italian, "Who am I?"


I don't know why I did it. I just know I had to. My heart thundered in my chest as I drove down the highway in my old red truck. When the road ended I parked on the side of the road. I got out, not bothering to lock it. It was sunny out, much like the first time I came here with him. All the trees were flourishing, wildflowers painted bright colors sporadically in the green. My feet carried me forward.

It took almost four hours to reach the meadow. I have no idea how I found my way, but I did. The meadow was empty and seemed even more magnificent then I remembered. I sat down and brought my knees up to my chin and hugged them tight. All that was missing was my vampire love. I sat there, unmoving for hours and hours.

A movie of my whole relationship with Edward played through my mind. Us meeting, us falling in love. Me wanting to spend the rest of my life with him. Him leaving me without warning. Then what I refer to as the dark ages. I still couldn't manage to get out. My days became bleak. Without my Edward, there was no reason to live anymore, so I didn't even try. It has been almost a year now since the day I first sat next to him in Biology. The best day of my existence, though it didn't seem that way when it was actually happening.

I heard a soft rustle and I looked up. There were two figures walking into the meadow. I couldn't see them very clearly, just their general outlines, a boy and a girl.

"Get out of here! You don't belong here." I hissed at them. They paid no heed. My blood was boiling with anger. I stood up and started to them. "Are you deaf? Leave now!" They kept coming. As they got closer they came clearer. I froze. Vampires. They got closer and I couldn't breathe. It was Jane and Alec. I recognized them from our escapade to Italy.

"Bella Bella Bella." Jane clucked her tongue disapprovingly. "Let me put this simply. I have been sent here to clean up after Edward. You know your choices." Jane glared at me as Alec stood passively behind her, bored almost. I didn't respond, I couldn't.

"Have you forgotten our number one law? Humans are not to know about us. If they find out they either die or become one of us. Since your oh so fine vampire family left you, we have to clean up after them. Choose now or I'll just kill you."

"I-I want to be a vampire."

"Very well. Remember our rules. We'll change you now, and I expect to see you in Volterra in no more than two weeks." MY heart beat heavily in my chest. I nodded. This was all happening too fast. Jane came closer. Her hand roughly grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. Her head lowered to my neck, and I felt her cool breath on my skin. I shivered. She bit down. I whimpered slightly. It was over in a minute.

"Two weeks Bella. Two weeks." And they walked away as I collapsed in pain.

The pain was indescribable. It drove me crazy, and yet at the same time I reveled in it. So this is how Edward felt when he changed. This is how Alice felt. How Jasper and all of the others had felt, the way I had strived to feel for so long. Now that I finally get my immortal life, I have no one to share it with I thought suddenly doused in melancholy.

It seemed like months, years, centuries until the pain seceded. I sighed with relief as my skin cooled down. I lay with my eyes closed for a moment before I sat up and looked around.

It was like I was seeing a whole new, more extravagant word. I could see everything and anything. I could see things I never could have imagined before, new colors, new creatures, and minute details that humans wouldn't have been able to see even with a microscope.

The sounds bombarded me, the cacophony of the surrounding forest overwhelming as I tried to get a hold on my bearings. I could hear every animal every insect in the forest for miles and miles in every direction. I could hear the cars from the highway that was over five miles away from my location.

I stood up in one of those lighting fast movements I had been so jealous of. I reached my arms up above my head and stretched as far as I could. I inhaled deeply and took in the scent of the forest. I could smell the trees, the winds, the animals, and far in the distance, a human…

The instinct wasn't as overwhelming as I had imagined. To resist wasn't as hard as I thought. The roughness at the back of my throat was only mildly irritating. I made a snap decision. I was going to kill the human. I would drink every drop of blood in its pitifully weak body. I would do it just to spite Edward and his weak imbecilic "vegetarian" family.

I shot off in the general direction of the human blood scent. I let my new and more powerful nose guide me through the thick forest. It only took me approximately two minutes to cover the ten miles to the young man. He was a complete stranger to me, making the kill even easier. I attacked without another thought.

He didn't see me coming. He couldn't have at the speed I was moving. Adrenaline rushed through me as I wrapped my hand around his neck and slammed him to the ground. His breath was knocked out of him, and just as he registered what was happening, I plunged my teeth deep into the warm soft skin of his neck. The warm blood cast me into ecstasy. The taste and smell that had so appalled me before was now the most extravagant thing in my life.

I drank until all that was left was a dried out husk. The burn in my throat was all but gone. I pulled back and stood up. As I looked down at the cadaver I felt no emotion, no joy in my first kill, no regret. I was numb from everything that was happening, and yet at the same time everything seemed more real than prior to my transformation.

I turned around and darted away from the crime scene. I ran blindly, not thinking but just following my instincts. When I arrived, I was not surprised at all where I had ended up. I had half expected it when I started out, even though I really had no idea how to get here by myself as a human.

I was at _his_ house, _their_ house. The Cullen's how was slowly being taken over by the forest. Even as I was watching I could see the small growth of the plants. The ivy was slowly but surely getting taller and taller as I stood there and watched. I walked up to the front door, and it was unlocked. All of the furniture was still their though any painting s books and other personal belongings had been long gone.

The kitchen had returned back to its previous status before I came. Devoid of food, devoid of people, devoid of life of any sort. I held my breath as I walked up the stairs. First I opened Alice and Jasper's door, then Carlisle and Esme's, then Rosalie and Jasper's, and finally Edwards.

All of his music was gone, as were the books. His sofa was still pushed against the far wall. The big looming bed that he had bought for me was still dominating the room, though it was stripped bare of its sheets. I felt my heart harden as I glared at the room. I ran forward like dervish. I destroyed everything in my path. The bed, the sofa, the stereo, I ripped the door off of its hinges.

When I was certain there was not a single item still intact, I turned around and ran out of the room, out of the house, out of the state. I ran and ran and ran. I didn't need to stop for anything. I didn't get tired, I didn't have to make a bathroom break. I cast Edward and his false promises out of my head. I banished Alice and her buoyant persona. I pushed the Cullens so far that if someone had asked me right then who Edward Cullen was, I would not have been able to answer.

I molded myself into someone new, someone stronger and smarted as I ran. My name was still Isabella Swan, but I myself, was someone completely new and different.


End file.
